The REAL reasons the housing market is tanking...

I started to vent about my house hunting frustrations on facebook today. I decided there just wasn't enough room to really explain what I'm finding as we search for a new house. These examples may be hard to believe, but I have written each based on personal experience and I have created this photo-montage to demonstrate sellers' lack of judgement that I find so humorous.

If you want me to buy your house... I suggest the following:

• Take down the giant elk head hanging in your dining room. And maybe consider  moving the treadmill, unless you really think people eat, admire their trophies, and cycle-cise in one sitting. 

• Paint over the "under the sea" mural you thought looked good behind your fireplace.
• Ask your six cats to step out of the room while you snap a few pics. 
• This may be my all time favorite. Don't hang pictures of your sweetheart above your toilet in your bathroom-laundry combo. It's creepy, any way you slice it.

• Christmas lights?! Really? It's APRIL! (Amanda, how right you are)
• "Needs a little TLC" is not the same as "I cut out holes in the sheetrock just to see if anyone hid money behind the walls".
• I don't even know what to say about this one... Baywatch meets Top Shot meets Disney Princess?

• Leave!!  I shouldn't have to tour while you hang out in your mom's basement. 
• Close the lid and flush. Yes- this really happened.
• Don't advertise your Dexter-style basement fireplace as a selling point. 

• Don't advertise you have "new flooring" if all rooms have a different form. That doesn't count and you know it. 
• Wash the crayons off the wall your child decided to draw on -OR- don't ask me to take my shoes off upon entrance. The two just don't make sense together. It's like wearing socks with sandals.
• Don't take pictures of your shadow. Idiot.

No wonder the housing market is in trouble. Someone needs a new realtor! Send me your finds. I love 'em!  

Herding Puppies

First of all, let me start by saying I love my job. Teaching is my passion and although being a food critic has a certain personal appeal, there is nowhere else I would rather be. For the last six years I have taught at the high school level. This year, I took a job at a local middle school that became available in November, right after we moved to VA. I am blessed to have found the job and extremely happy with my school and the teachers and kids I work with. That being said, I would like to share with you my crazy/hilarious/beat my head against the wall/gloriously rewarding/first time ever/what was I thinking/I feel like a giant/my heart is full, experience in 7th grade U.S. History.

In speaking to my friends and family back in the NW, I am often asked how my new job is going. I have been trying to figure how to explain middle school. It's not something I can really describe in literal terms. I tried a few analogies before I really found one that fit, like this one: Teaching middle school is like going to the gym; sometimes you have to talk yourself into going, often there is a funny smell in the room, and although the work leaves you beat up and a little sore, the pain is good and you want to keep going back for more. (I thought the reference to pain might have been misinterpreted by those not in the teaching field.)

I was talking to my Dad the other day about my "pretty" dog, Cooper (he's adorable, but it's obvious he doesn't think things through). I let him sleep on the bed, which is a rare occurrence in our house, when my husband is home. :) In the middle of the night, I rolled over towards Cooper and woke up laughing after hearing a large THUD. Cooper had rolled over too, and fell right off the bed. It might have been the funniest thing I have ever seen. There is something about watching someone fall out of bed that just cracks me up. I think it's the idea of falling when you aren't standing to begin with. I told my Dad that when I got home from work the next day, our dogs were so excited they just started running around in circles. It was like they hadn't seen me in years and had SO much to show me. Occasionally, Cooper would chew on Jackson's legs and then run to me with his goofy, sweet, absent minded smile. I tried to settle them down so I could get in the house and drop my stuff off and there it was- BINGO. This is 7th grade. 

I starting thinking about what my dogs were like as puppies- they were absolutely adorable, hyper, and often forgetful. One of them always has to pee, and if they get in trouble they feel really bad. I interpret their thoughts to be something like this, "Oh, right... the kitchen, you told me to stay out of the kitchen. I'm SO sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm going..." and then 5 minutes later...they are right back in the kitchen.

THIS IS MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! My friends, I swear to you, teaching 7th grade is like herding puppies. I had the SAME feeling I do when my students arrive for class. The bell rings, a few of them are still wandering in circles, some are chewing on things they shouldn't, and there is always one right at your feet, smiling up at you for no reason at all. Once you get a few of them settled down, a few others are wandering. They always have to pee, and they are always so stinking sweet! In teaching my students I needed them to raise their hands before they speak, I had to correct them at least 85 times before they started to "get it". I can see the look on their faces when I remind them to wait their turn to speak. Translation, " Oh, right... the hand, you told me to raise my hand. I'm SO sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I got this." :) I hear puppies need to hear a command 100 times before they commit it to memory. Coincidence? 

It takes special person to teach middle school and I admire all of you out there in the field. If you are an educator AND you have a puppy, you are my hero. And to my brother, who thinks teachers work only 3 months a year, try juggling baseballs, on fire, while trying to get a litter of golden retrievers to line up, single-file. Teaching... it's like that. :)