A Musical Tribute, to The Giant :)

Alright friends, here's the latest on my interactions with The Giant. I DID place food in The Giant's mailbox for four or five days, but soon realized the school year was quickly winding to an end. I didn't want to miss the chance to reveal myself soooooo, I decided to create a musical tribute to my new friend. I cleverly changed the lyrics to "Call Me, Maybe" to "Don't Eat Me, Lady" and, with a friend's help, came up with this special presentation. I'm technologically challenged and gave up converting the PowerPoint to an iMovie. Pardon the video quality, I recorded the show from my phone. I HAD to share. I emailed a copy to The Giant with the following friendly message:

"Hey, Giant! (For the record, I referred to her by her real name.) Heard we might be working together next year in Algebra... and that you were planning to "eat me alive". I thought that was pretty funny... soooo... I made this music tribute, just for you. All you gotta do is open the PowerPoint, start the slide show, and turn up your speakers! I hope you get a kick out of it. Looking forward to next year! :)"

Here it is, friends. If I go missing, you know where to look.

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum

It has been a long time since I have been bullied. I think my height has been the biggest deterrent- people are intimidated by my size and therefore steer clear. I'd like to say I have a wicked reach and can kick some ass, but really I'm clumsy and not scary at all. Don't tell anyone.

Recently, at work of all places, I was threatened by a woman I have never officially met. And get this, she is bigger than me! This woman (let's call her The Giant) was recently informed I would be joining her department next year. Upon verifying my credentials (by asking around if that 'little blonde girl actually knows how to teach') she declared she was going to "eat me alive". Yep, I'm serious. This story was relayed to me and after I closed my gaping mouth (you can do the same), I decided I had to be a part of this. In Barney Stinson fashion, I stood and declared, "Challenge accepted".

I'm Swedish and we don't do confrontation very well. In fact, we often hide from it. The secret is avoiding public conflict with others, and then confidentially bitching about it later. Although this strategy works well most of the time, I decided I needed to find some humor in my situation. I wanted to let her know that I knew what was said, but didn't want to cause tension or further aggravate The Giant. And I REALLY didn't want to be eaten alive. That doesn't sound like my kind of party. And so, I developed a plan. 

I decided I would secretly deliver a random food item to The Giant every day. At first, maybe she would assume a student had left an anonymous gift. As the days pass, it is my greatest hope she will start to think it was strange that undisclosed edible items kept appearing on her desk and will start asking around to see if other teachers had similar experiences. One of these glorious days, I will be in the right place at the right time, and The Giant would inquire about her mysterious foodstuffs in my presence. This will be my shining moment.

I will then proudly raise my hand and innocently announce that it is I, the "little blonde girl", who had been namelessly gifting her delicious goodies. As the puzzled Giant pondered my admission, I will disclose I heard she was planning on eating me alive, and that I didn't want her to be too hungry when the day arrived. BAM. Brilliant. (And hilarious, I might add.) I can't wait. 

Now this could go one of a few different ways. The Giant and I could have a good laugh about this and move on... OR...I'm gonna need a lot of magic beans, a huge beanstalk and a friend named Jack with an ax. I'll keep you posted. 

To The Giant, if you are reading this:

1. I'm flattered you are a fan.

2. Please don't eat me.

Just.Keep.Running

I know, I know... It's been awhile since I've written. Here's the thing- lately, I have felt like I haven't had anything really all that interesting happen to me. Usually it's the crazy, haphazard events that inspire me to blog. I've been wishing I had some material to work with but nothing really jumped out at me. That is until I crossed paths, quite literally, with a turtle.

As many of you know, I've been running- pretty regularly lately. My most recent motivation came from a friend of Brent's who was diagnosed with a very rare and fairly agressive form of malignant brain cancer. Although I do not know him very well, everyone who speaks of Sean Hawkins has nothing but wonderful things to say about him. Sean's fight for his life inspired me, and the message he sends by the way he has always chosen to live is simple; find value in the moments you have with others. Although I had not run three miles since November, I decided I was going to join "Team Hawk" and participate in a 5k in downtown D.C. to raise money for brain tumor research.

Now the thing is, I had a lot of money riding on this race. Friends and family donated over $900 for me to participate. To me, this felt like the adult version of a jog-a-thon. I decided since I was getting paid to run I was NOT going to stop no matter how painful it may be. And I didn't. (Side note- You annoying runners out there that can run a 5k in 20 minutes, not break a sweat and carry on a conversation along the way, pipe down. To the rest of us out here, running... well, it's punishment.)

What felt like an eternity ago I passed the water stand, indicating the halfway mark. (Side note, trying to drink water from a paper cup while you run is like trying to apply mascara while someone else unexpectedly drives over speed bumps. You might as well just throw them both in your face because neither one is going where you planned.) Anyways, I felt like I had been running FOREVER. I just knew the finish line had to be around the next corner. I turned onto Pennsylvania Avenue and saw a sign indicating I had just made it through mile two. TWO?!?? That meant I had 1.1 miles to go. &^#$!@%#!!! I thought I was going to pass out, but I just kept running. Somewhere near mile 87 I really thought I was going to quit. Then, a lady "jogging" with her kid in a stroller passed me. That's embarrassing. I couldn't let her win. And I didn't :).

For the record, I came in 589 out of 1040 female runners. That means about half (yes I'm using the term in my favor) did better than me, but half did worse. I'll take it. I also realized I am pathetic. Children under the age of 10 had better times than me. I am almost 30, in terrible shape, and could have been lapped by women in my age bracket. I had to do something about this. I had to make running a habit.

Here was my official race time:

 589 105/169   2275 29 Leesburg VA   33:35 32:53 10:36

The four "Team Hawk" runners

Ok, Ok... the turtle... I didn't forget, I promise. I decided to get my ass in gear and run. I did just that. And last week, while I was busy wishing for something to blog about, I turned the corner out of our neighborhood, and ran across this:

Yes, a turtle. In the middle of Leesburg. To my NW friends, this is really weird, right? I guess it's way more common out this way, but let's ignore that to make my story more meaningful. I stopped, snapped a photo with my iPhone, and literally laughed. To me, the message was clear. It takes us all a little time to get to our destinations. Life is busy and things are thrown in the way that distract us from the bigger picture. Personally, I have been so caught up in planning my life the exact way I think it should go that I have been paying a disservice to the experiences and people that are right in front of me. It has taken me years to get to this realization.

Sean's message seems simple yet maintaining this focus is difficult. It seems most of us reflect in a similar way when we are faced with a tragedy; we analyze what we could have done and said to change the outcome. We promise ourselves we are going to change our perspectives, value each moment, laugh more. But, as time passes, we get sucked back in to our own crazy lives and it takes another blow to our hearts to remember the promises we made the last time. Most of us work, and even those of us with jobs we LOVE countdown until our next weekend/vacation/break. I ask am asked how my week is going by a co-worker and often respond, "I can't believe it's only Tuesday" or "It's almost Friday!". This is the first mistake I see in my own life. I spend my week looking forward to my time off and inadvertently discount the five days I have in between weekends to LIVE. It's tough- there are dishes, papers to grade, bills to pay, dogs to walk, kids to entertain, meals to cook, floors to vacuum- I get it. But I just don't believe we were put on this earth for these reasons. We are here to interact, to connect, to challenge each other, to love... and yet these are the things we put off until we aren't working. I have to change the way I view my time. I challenge you all to do the same.

So, friends (and random blog reader in Alaska), here's my contribution for this week. Live. Lose the tunnel vision. Just.Keep.Running (hopefully faster than women pushing strollers). And, like Sean, find value in the moments you are surrounded in.

Keep at it, friends. We'll get there together.